I molested 6 butterflies tonight
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
