White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
