well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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