The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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