Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
