Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Found your dick twin last night
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
