Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
