That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
