Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
