Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Randomize
