I wanna bring you to show and tell
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
