Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize