I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
