ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
