No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize