am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
