There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
How's work?
Spinning.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
