Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
