we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
