I just threw up on my dentist
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
