I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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