My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
