i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
