omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Randomize