i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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