And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize