508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
