Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
