Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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