I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
