when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
When are your genitals available?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
