In the future we'll all be gay
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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