Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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