She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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