Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
