I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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