Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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