He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
