I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Randomize
