I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
