Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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