i can't believe i had my finger in that
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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