I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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