Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
