all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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