I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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