well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Randomize
