We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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