I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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