youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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