I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
