in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
