broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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