Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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