im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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