I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
