in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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