The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
