ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
