I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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