DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
