maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Randomize
