just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
