Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
