Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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