I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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