im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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