I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
