The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she told me i tasted like america
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Dick very happy bro
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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