dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
