Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize