i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
