I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Sorry my hands just texted you
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You need Xanax blowdarts
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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