Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
