So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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