Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
